Golden Helicopter Awards

With Christmas behind us, 2011 on the horizon, and my over-fed family looking down at the over-abundence of baking that I did in the name of slow food, I wanted to write a quick post.

Lenore Skenazy, author of Free Range Kids, has come up with the Golden Helicopter Awards to commemorate the 2010 moments in over-parenting! This is a list that will make any slow parent feel that they are doing their part to ward off the insanity of the over-protective parenting mentality that plagues us.

Here is an excerpt from her list. But please visit her website and check it out for yourself!

But It’s Still Less Creepy than “J. Edgar Barbie”: With Christmas gearing up, the FBI warned that “Video Barbie” could be used by child pornographers — even though, so far, it has never, ever seen this happen. This didn’t stop the news media from showing how Barbie could easily be used to videotape from the corner of a girl’s bedroom or even under her skirt.

The Today Show Explains Why You Should Never Cross in Front of a Black Cat: The Today Show warned viewers that no one under 13 should trick or treat without an adult, because, “people put on masks and…do bad things.” Meanwhile, an actual study of sex crime statistics found, “zero evidence to support the idea that Halloween is a dangerous date for children in terms of child molestation.” Somehow, that didn’t get mentioned on the show.

What Exciting New Career Beckons If You Live Alone with Your Cats and Talk to Your Toothbrush? Just how fragile are today’s kids? Schools have started hiring “friendship coaches” to discourage students from having best friends, because when they do, someone could feel left out. (Like…a Friendship Coach?)

And the Buns Give You Cancer: Dr. Gary Smith of the American Academy of Pediatrics urged that hotdogs be “re-designed” because, of the 20,000,000,000 hotdogs eaten annually, about 10 kids choke on them. That’s one death per 200 million franks. Smoothies! Get yer hotdog smoothies!


3 Responses to “Golden Helicopter Awards”

  1. 1 Heather December 31, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    That is hilarious. Whew, I’m so glad Joseph didn’t get video Barbie for christmas. Hehehe.

  2. 2 Michelle December 30, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    Does this make me feel “normal” or what?!?

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